Age 55 seems like a nice OCD age to make a change. I wouldn’t change my whole style at 54, even if that is a round number. I wonder if 55 is a Prime number. It might be.
I’m super pissed I deleted a very long blog entry just now. A big one, accidentally erased beyond any method of saving because android doesn’t have an oops button I’m aware of.
Stupid WordPress editor.
I didn’t blog from my subway ride for a couple of trips because my timing was off and the ride was busy. Toronto transit is great but it’s better when you’re not riding at the same time as all the other passengers.
School rush hour is earlier than business rush hour and retail rush hour. I don’t know if they staggered it for transit on purpose or for other logistical reasons but it creates a long evening time to avoid. I’d say the backpack crowd is simultaneously the worst time to be on a bus, and the most fun to listen to if you have a chance to overhear. Teenage subway conversations are hilarious and educational in a strange sort of way.
Today I’m going into the office job a little later than usual so the ride had lots of open seats to choose from.
I’m trying email as my choice of format today. Since our subway has no cell service on my route. I have to write online. And update the blog later. I was using other methods and they failed me. ironically the worst was the standalone WordPress App, which for some strange reason I keep giving a second. Third. Fifth chance. I’ve loaded it and deleted it in frustration several times over the past few years. It’s horrible. It’s still horrible. It will probably still be horrible next time I feel like trying it.
I’m using the standard native email app Samsung provided with my S9 Plus. Simple. Reliable and it maintains an automatic copy on my inbox whenever I next find internet. I can even set it to post this as a blog post directly if I configure that. Which I have not yet done.
I’ve been keeping up my 15csevond today videos most weekdays but, like these blogs, they’re probably too full to watch. Even at only 15vsevonds, I’ll need to come up with content if I want to build an audience. I goal.
A goal I actually want to succeed in. I still have not figured that out. I’ve only recently abandoned all my goals for being way too much work to be worth it.
I have lists of topics on file that I could use, but my flow style doesn’t often stay focused for a post I feel good about. Maybe my new meds will help me be a better-focused writer
I know the real secret is the second read. The edit. Like in life, I could use the rules of spring cleaning.whst do I keep, trash. Or reuse. Ten blogs edited might make 2 or 3 good ones.
We’ll see. Maybe is better than saying I’ll never do it, but living a life of NOW keeps me busy with the current. The past is behind me unless something makes it current again.
Today is the first day I’ve taken the bus where most people have ditched their spring coats or sweaters. Last time I was one of the only riders in short sleeves. But today only the foreigners and homeless are wearing costs. I can see naked arms everywhere and somehow the women seem more beautiful today.
I love watching people take two seats with no shame, even when 20 people are standing. They sit on the outside seat. Or place their bag on the extra seat. One guy had this face expression that just said no. Words were not needed. Sometimes it’s fun to watch somebody experienced call them on it, or force their way in. The people who have been transit users far longer than I that won’t stand for that shit, not figuratively or literally.
I’m not there yet. I don’t mind standing for a while, usually not for long. My balance isn’t as good as it was when I was a teenager. I still remember the fun if the challenge while riding a bus or subway with no hands.
These days I don’t even try, for fear of toppling into the lap of a fellow transit rider. I understand that practice might have been acceptable flirtation in the 80s but not today.
It’s an observation of mine that all mobile games seem to use a high tempo music beat as background. Gamers even far away, with quality headphones are still emitting a faint rhythm as they look heads down at their phones for the ride. The timpony of the higher notes carries far.
It seems they all use the same tempo or the best would be far more annoying out of sync. The way it is now, a game best is slightly faster than my own internal rhythm but my foot or fingers quickly match to keep in pace.
When they leave the bus, my internal beatbox takes over and my foot keeps bopping away in silence
Today, I hear a voice from the headphones of the lady next to me. That’s far more annoying since it’s too low to hear words but it has no tapible ruthm
I moved to another seat.
I’ve always been good at directions and navigation with a few notable exceptions. When I was visiting Chicago, I continuously got confused about Eastbound and Westbound highway exits because the lake was in the North, whereas the Toronto lake is in the south
More recently I have gotten turned around in the subway underground a few times. I mix up north and south and find it really hard to wrap my head around it sometimes. There is something in my head that makes me believe my right arm knows which way is north and once decided, I can’t convince it otherwise.
Today is one of the first times I actually got on the southbound subway rather than my usual northbound.
I’m going the wrong way, and I didn’t even notice it for 4 stops because I was finishing up some phone emails with my attention distracted.
How can the north out trains be on my left side. Left is south.
Monday was the night of the big switchover on the stressful work contract I’ve been using to face my mental health and return into life as a productive employable worjer.
The weeks preceding have been a strange mixtures of highs and lows emotionally as I continue to work through a medication change, enlightening therapy, self obsession and clients demands.
As is often the case in my universe, it has a way if providing for me when I most need it. As I was at another scary low point, financially and emotionally, and my income had dipped once again, a job appeared before me from one of my guardian angel former contacts.
I jumped at the opportunity, and underwriter my worth, which is one of my hardest challenges to overcome. In this case especially, as it became clear I was working with a startup company that might not last the year. Budgets were legitimately tight.
The main issue with the contract was that it broke one if my 30 year Golden rules. Although I’m known as a windows support guy, I have helped people with Macs and iPhones and even converted many of my elderly clients to iPads, despite the loss in support visits it cause me.
Customers happiness first.
The one thing I’d successfully avoided for my entire career was Microsoft exchange. Indeed, I got some if my clients to give it up completely and just use Windows.
Exchange servers were a whole new level of paranoia and security. Those support guys charged 125 an hour for every minute of support way back when I was charging 45 and feeling guilty. They had certifications, which looked good on a resume and justified their asking price.