The Loup: Pilot Episode

The Loup: Pilot Episode

My first time trying distraction-free writing in WordPress. I am surprised it’s not full screen… it’s a popup that is actually quite distracting because of the DIVI interface behind shows in the corners with blue and green and purp[le squares. Distraction free also means feature-free. I’m dumping this experiment.  It is however not lost on me that distraction-free writing mode is how I started a blog intended to be about the word Loup.

It’s my second try.  I started an article about Loup previously, but as is my way, I changed the topic totally and rambled on about something else.

It’s Friday Night.  Seems like yesterday. I’m Orange Jeff, and this is…

The Start of the Loup.

Now… I have news about why this is called the Loup.

In my stories, I refer a lot to the loops in life. Spotting the loops is the key to what we might call wisdom, although the ability to connect the loops is not a skill everyone learns, and I suspect nobody learns it at the same time. When I was first searching for a name, the Daily Loop seemed an obvious choice. So obvious it’s been used by many shows. I’m sure somebody claims to own it.

As a coincidence, my alter ego second personality lines in the computer programmed 3D avatar Universe known as Second Life. I’ve lived there for many years using the name Frogstar42 Loup. I never questioned why. Loup was one of several generic surnames assigned to you when you create a presence in that world. They have since abandonned the forced last names but some of us remained.

Tonight I decided to look up Loup online and see if it had any meanings that might be relivant. I had already toked my week so the idea sounded great. My brain is much slower on weed to trash my own good ideas.

“ok Google, What is the definition of Loup.”

-ding. (imagine a light tinging bell – I’ll explain later)

I lied. I knew I could not ask using my voice. I typed it in.

Google refers to first. I would have preferred to include citation of the Oxford or Meriam Webster, who is not one woman.  The listing however displays the best because Google is tryin to “cardify” their listings for future smart devices quick displlay. “loup,” in Unabridged. Source location: Random House, Inc. Available: Accessed: March 3, 2018.



Although this is the first blog in a series on, it isn’t my first…

Episode 1.  Take 2.

Hi.  I’m Orange Jeff, and I’ve been blogging the Orange Shirt Blogs from my bedroom at night for years. Before that, writing hand and pen. I’ve been journalizing my life for as long as I’ve felt I had stories worth saving. Recently, I have enjoyed the self-discovery of how I work. Why I am the way I am, and how to find pride in that and not shame.

Along the way, I have built up confidence, but not a lot. This year, in 2018 I need to force some change, and as you will learn, that isn’t something I’m good at. I have optimism and pride in what I am hoping to create here. I like who I am, but I am starting to learn more and more who that is, and it seems that I’ve never really grown up. I am still a child in many ways, and my crazies are a bit deeper than I imagined. I look forward to revealing more and more of who I am every day, in a series of written blogs, video segments, and live streams… in orange.

I really wanted to start this on January 1st.  I really wanted to start this on February 1st. I actually started it about 2 or 3 weeks ago. Writing every single day, and doing video segments intermixed. I don’t think I’ll share those early copies right now. Perhaps later, if there is a demand. I have years of writing I look forward to one-day re-exploring.

I had the idea of calling each episode and blog series, the Pilot Episode. Every one a little different, until I find a style or title that works for the changing moods of my writing. It is at this point I should confess that I write when I’m high. A few tokes of weed, or a DAB of shatter and I need to start writing. Unfortunately, sometimes this causes the writing to go off in a different direction. Some of my blogs will be a bit wild, and I suspect, a bit hard to follow. I call it my stream of consciousness live transcript of NOW, only I really emphasize the stream motif.  I slow down my thinking to match the speed of my typing and stream my thoughts out in real time. It gets interesting because I have fairly severe A.DD but I especially have trouble with focus when I smoke weed. With the right dosage, I can go off on tangents so detailed, I often lose my place. My whole brain processes the new thoughts and squeaks out any remains of the old. While this is ON when writing, because I can just look up on the screen above, when I’m talking into the camera, a forgotten story is lost forever.

It can either be annoying, or a clever plot device to keep you coming back. Like Shaharazad.

“ok google. How do you spell Shahrazad?”



The story goes that Shahryar (شهریار Šahryār, from Middle Persian šahr-dār, “holder of the realm, king”)[1] found out one day that his first wife was unfaithful to him. Therefore, he resolved to marry a new virgin each day as well as behead the previous day’s wife, so that she would have no chance to be unfaithful to him. He had killed 1,000 such women by the time he was introduced to Scheherazade, the vizier‘s daughter.

Against her father’s wishes, Scheherazade volunteered to spend one night with the king. Once in the king’s chambers, Scheherazade asked if she might bid one last farewell to her beloved sister, Dunyazade (دنیازاد Donyāzād), who had secretly been prepared to ask Scheherazade to tell a story during the long night. The king lay awake and listened with awe as Scheherazade told her first story. The night passed by, and Scheherazade stopped in the middle. The king asked her to finish, but Scheherazade said there was no time, as dawn was breaking. So, the king spared her life for one day to finish the story the next night. The following night, Scheherazade finished the story and then began a second, even more exciting tale, which she again stopped halfway through at dawn. Again, the king spared her life for one more day so she could finish the second story.

And so the king kept Scheherazade alive day by day, as he eagerly anticipated the finishing of the previous night’s story. At the end of 1,001 nights, and 1,000 stories, Scheherazade told the king that she had no more tales to tell him. During these 1,001 nights, the king had fallen in love with Scheherazade. He spared her life, and made her his queen.

I don’t know if it is the greatest or dumbest idea, but… I kinda like the name Loup.

Why so extreme? Why does it have to be the best or the worst? Can’t it just be ok?
You mean meh?

I’ve never used meh. Not really. I recently watched 30 minutes or so of The Emoji Movie. It was meh. More accurately, it was the personification of me… or the emojificauion I suppose.

That Emoji Movie has me thinking of meh.

I posted a long birthday message about hearing meh from a friend who’s birthday today happens to be. On Facebook, it tells you your friends’ birthdays and I’m always a little bit agitated by the scores of people who post happy birthday and nothing else, even if it’s the first contact between them in 10 years.

If there was a wish them happy birthday by clicking this single button, people would. Facebook almost makes it that easy, but you have to actually type Happy Birthday. I’m shocked at how impersonal that is, or seems to be to me. Even Happy Birthday Buddy adds some personalization. Perhaps a second line of sentiment.

Side realization.
When I used the term “scores of” in the previous paragraph it may have been the very first time I’ve used scores. I don’t know if it’s odd or normal, but I remember what I’ve said before, at least as far as words or phrases that are new. I chose to say scores of because a few and several didn’t imply the larger crowd that I was trying to project. It seemed like a word that meant lots… but as I typed it I realized that in fact, it is an actual value. Scores of women at my party would be like saying dozens of women, except a score is 25… I think.

Hey Google. What is the value of a score.

Huh. It is 20, not 25. I made my guess based on the four score and even speech however I truthfully have no idea how many years he was talking about. I made the error of assumption that 4 scores was 100. I guess he was saying 87 years ago. I wonder if it was an arrogant way of saying 87.


The phone rings.  We’re talking while Survivor Ghost Island. I watch with my friend in Calgary over the phone in approximate sync.

OMG I predicted the future.

Almost. I think both my stories were better. It’s not uncommon for me to predict the ending of TV shows, but that isn’t what happened. While watching Survivor Ghost Island premier with a friend, we had been talking about some of the great moments, and the first time that cool guy made the very first fake idol. It seems they give the contestants increasingly good ingredients and opportunity to make fake idols as well a making the real ones more generic.

Fake idols are a part of the game, and Jacob made a really bad fake idol, and really blundered because he didn’t have the Ghost Island story to back it up. Everything this season is themed.

I suddenly thought it would be cool to have a real idol but to throw suspicion off, present the fake idol. Then have everyone vote for you and play a real one. It would be an audience WOW moment.

Then the very next scene, the guy with a real idol, is creating a fake. I blew my mind.

He didn’t use it as I imagined, and in the show’s story, he totally missed his opportunity and in fact, wasted the whole effort. By showing a fake idol and a real paperwork, all you did was confuse the guy. No gain.

If he had given the guy his idol to make a bond, it would have been a hilarious wow moment. The kind of genius we leap out of our chairs for. The moments that Survivor gives us… but tonight it was more a WHOA!  That was a mistake.

Hmmm… I wonder if this whole season we’ll see people make really really bad decisions.

So far they have. It is a curse.


More later… apparently typing on the work computer is too loud, at least during the fall asleep attempts from behind my door.

The Wild adventures of the Unknown and Risky

The Wild adventures of the Unknown and Risky

It’s 9pm on A saturday in March. I’m JEff Goebel, I’m wearing Orange. I’m highg, and I guess I just started another loop.

Several things hanged in this loop.  I tried a free sample snort of something new, and it had the expected nothing results. Recently I had a mountaiun top lightbulb moment. I used the anaolgy before but I really liked it, and made enough sense that I assume it’s actu…

Wow. That was fast. My mood has shifted to an extra special; ahhh. I don’t feel like it mode. Sometimes when I’m writing the b log high, and an idea gets too big to describe without entering the tedius mode where my fear that it’s boring overpowers the fear to finish a good story. I’m happy with my recent desisions that (a) It’ doesn’t matter if anybody ever reads the old stuff. I can start new any time. It also doesn’t matter at all. I have deciided that writing and blogging is one thing that makes me happy. It took me four years to answer that question my therapist aske me in the first meeting. I am reminded of the Question they asked of Spock on Vulcan. How do you feel? He answered at the end of the movie after revelations and rezliqations and his logic put together that answering HOW DO YOU FEEL does not go agait everything Vulcan.

For Spock is not Vulcan anyway… only half on his Father’s side. It was an interesting choice to make him that. A bold move to havenot only an interracial crew on the bridge, but an inter species mating of human and others. Bold move, and also useful for several plot points over the years.

The come up for any drug is always an interesting time. You know it’s between 30 and 90 minutes for acid but It often doesn’t show any signs much before 40 minutes. However fake acid is more anybody’s ball game. I don’t know dosage or anything, and only taking three was a safe choice, but it might put me in that sucky limbo. That place where it’s too lkate to take any more, but you’re not quite high… just too high to fall asleep, and most of the stuff you try to do bores you or you can’t maintain focus. Often I’ll try to pick a movie I know might have some weirdness in it and then start watching with it timed right around the middle of the film.

Maybe I’ll do that now.  9:21.  I feel anxious but that is only because I am. I’m on 4 drugs currently and two of them make me go fast and two of them make me go slow. I may explode.

Wouldn’t that be an intresting site. I bet you they don’t report that as a drug overdose. Man’s head explodes.

The summer political series … forget… Tony Shalube was the star attached. A summer series where half of the Goverment was infected by alien bugs in their heads eating half their brain. Luckily it effected mostly Rebublicans so nobopdy actually noticed. It was actually an excellent show teaching how Government woprks if you watched and noticed. Many people just watched for the exploding heads.

“Blowed up Real Good”.

SPONTANIOUS RE-ROUTE: Task #1: Can I get the glyify or whatever it’s called installed?


Go.  (;25pm

Save Point.


Last call! Last Blog before the next day.

It’s actualklu Saturday, but I’ve been in good spirts, got quite a lot of #prideworthy struyff done today, planted some more seeds that may grow into the responsability of showing off and sharing the site.

I’m Jeff Goebel, It’s 12:22am on a Friday night in March, and this is another Loup.

Perhaps the next leap, will be the leap home.

I saw a funny thing at Dinner tonight and I just now re-imagined it better in my head. I was out to a much needed social meal with my two most recent couple friends, and by most recent I mean about 9 and 5 years. The wives are sisters and the husbands are computer nerdy. Adam is a pop culture fandom wiz and Ryan is a Linux fan and gamer. It’s not often Ryan is able to keep up when we start making references from just about any shows. Ryan doesn’t have a TV.

Tonight somebody made a comment mentioning Star Trek and I noticed recognition and optomism in Ran’s body movement, but then when Adam said Voyager, Ryan’s posture slumped and I asked; Was that because you only know one Star Trek and thought you might get a chance to participate in a conversation from our World, but Voyager isn’t the one?

Ryan then made quite a funny joke, but Adam missed it because he was starting into a well rehersed nerd Trek fandom rant about how Voyager was… I forget if he was for or against it being the best of The … No, he said worst. and then there was some debate.

ding. Suddenly I realizeed this story is more complex than I thought, and it just got deeper because I realized I was totally wrong in my understanding of something. It’s not worth it.

You don’t care about Star Trek Enterprise anyway – nobody does.

The whole story was suposed to be about Ryan’s joke being funny, but Adam missed it and made a rebuttle that seemed to be for a different joke. Humour sync error.

I guess you had to be there – This can be edited out.

Tired. Trying sleep test 1 for the night. I need it.  I have no idea how much.


It’s being hit on the head lessons in here.

Excuse me. I seem to have lost the news.

–and the mojo. Can’t write. Must try rest.

Fuck Yoda. Everything I do is a try, including half the stuff I don’t do.

Without my teeth in, my top and bottom lips flop around like a monkey doing the Bababooey face Sal took 4 months to teach him.

They are sensetive tp the beard and moustache trim. Sharp ends.

Bababooey Babbaboey

DING. A new task is up on the board. Fine whe… oh, nevermind I give up on that already. JUst change shirts and sleep.

Loop again another day.