My Stock Reply

I should keep this stock reply on a function key.  Hello new follower. I expect you’ll be wanted ti tell me the virtues of your clean strong meth. Let me explain my position on that. I live in Toronto, which is Canada. Toronto is a huge city, bigger than Chicago. Like any big city, finding… Read More »

I should keep this stock reply on a function key. 

Hello new follower. I expect you’ll be wanted ti tell me the virtues of your clean strong meth. Let me explain my position on that.

I live in Toronto, which is Canada. Toronto is a huge city, bigger than Chicago.

Like any big city, finding drugs isn’t too hard. I can walk to a corner downtown and fist bump anybody that has been standing in one spot more than 5 minutes. 

When I desire meth, I send a text message and my ball arrives within an hour. I pay for it to that person, who I have known for years. This is the way drugs have been sold since forever.

I have nothing against online drugs and have even used the Dark Web to do so in the past when I craved something unique or special. I see no need to take the risk to order online off Tumblr or especially not of Whisper or Kik, given that 99% of those seem to be fake scammers using the same reply scripts.

You will no doubt feel obligated to reply to me with all sorts of reasons why you can be trusted and are not like the others. I should point out that the others do as well. Some are extremely well skilled in the sales techniques of objection and close, objection and close. I suspect maybe they teach it in Nigeria and other locations.

I stand by my original statement. There is no reason for me to order shards from an American mail order stranger off the web no matter how much better your claims of quality may be. I’ve never met a dealer that didn’t hype his wares. It’s always the best coke and the cleanest shards.

As an aside, Canada customs is quite good at detection. Friends have been scammed or lost their orders to the mail detection squad (and dogs) at our borders. Please consider not replying to go on and on about your fantastic stealth techniques and how many Canadians you’ve sold to without issue. Maybe they live in smaller cities or just prefer waiting a week for their drugs.

If you still feel the need to close me on your deal, you may reply. I can’t guarantee I won’t re-blog it in a future mocking idiots meme.